Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
