i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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