Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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