my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
