we were pretty classy up until the second keg
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize