i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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