i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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