Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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