she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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