she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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