you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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