Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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