It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
