The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
