We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize