But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
