Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You need a sexual gate keeper
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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