Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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