Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
