he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
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