Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
