how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
