hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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