you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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