Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
