i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize