hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize