I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
