I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
