yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We left an ass print on the piano.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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