nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
