we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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