Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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