he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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