Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
