So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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