I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
