I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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