Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
