Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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