CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
