thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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