its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
COCAINE IS GR8
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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