OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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