It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
