i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
