And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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