How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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