she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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