What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
