How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
