i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
