I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just invented taco cereal.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize