Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
