Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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