Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize