Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Less talking, more tequila
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
